Buku Middle Watch by Loretta Proctor

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Middle Watch by Loretta Proctor

Author:Loretta Proctor [PROCTOR, LORETTA]

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd

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Middle Watch by Loretta Proctor

Chapter 19

Shaking off a heavy tiredness, I set to work cleaning the place to my satisfaction. Though never as finicky as Sidney Waterman, I’d been trained to keep things spotless first by Millie, then by Dad. I couldn’t live anywhere that felt crawly so I dusted and scrubbed and made everything gleam then felt more comfortable. Unpacking my few goods, I hung the clothes up in the old wooden wardrobe in the corner after checking for moths. Joe had framed the pictures of Bill and Maureen O’Neill for me and I set them up on the chest of drawers along with one of Joe and Sheila at their wedding and a big, blown up photo of Ryan actually smiling and looking relaxed. I must have caught him on a good day when I took that photo. These were the few people I loved with all my heart. I smiled and kissed Ryan’s photo as I set it up.

‘Miss you already, my darling,’ I murmured. For a long, unhappy moment my heart ached with longing. It would be ages before I saw him and no way to communicate, even if I wanted to. He was on his Light in the middle of a storming ocean and I in my little room in the midst of a sea of strangers. I envied him. He was where I wanted to be. So why was I here? Why had I, in my own way, cut myself off from those I loved just as Ryan did whenever he took up his lonely sojourn on a lighthouse far from humanity? I had no answer for the question except that deep down we were so alike, Ryan and I.

 

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Middle Watch by Loretta Proctor

Author:Loretta Proctor [PROCTOR, LORETTA] , Date: July 12, 2019

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Author:Loretta Proctor [PROCTOR, LORETTA]

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd
Chapter 19

Shaking off a heavy tiredness, I set to work cleaning the place to my satisfaction. Though never as finicky as Sidney Waterman, I’d been trained to keep things spotless first by Millie, then by Dad. I couldn’t live anywhere that felt crawly so I dusted and scrubbed and made everything gleam then felt more comfortable. Unpacking my few goods, I hung the clothes up in the old wooden wardrobe in the corner after checking for moths. Joe had framed the pictures of Bill and Maureen O’Neill for me and I set them up on the chest of drawers along with one of Joe and Sheila at their wedding and a big, blown up photo of Ryan actually smiling and looking relaxed. I must have caught him on a good day when I took that photo. These were the few people I loved with all my heart. I smiled and kissed Ryan’s photo as I set it up.

‘Miss you already, my darling,’ I murmured. For a long, unhappy moment my heart ached with longing. It would be ages before I saw him and no way to communicate, even if I wanted to. He was on his Light in the middle of a storming ocean and I in my little room in the midst of a sea of strangers. I envied him. He was where I wanted to be. So why was I here? Why had I, in my own way, cut myself off from those I loved just as Ryan did whenever he took up his lonely sojourn on a lighthouse far from humanity? I had no answer for the question except that deep down we were so alike, Ryan and I.

I looked for a long time at the pictures of my parents. They still seemed unreal to me; unknown people who had once lived and breathed, whose scent, whose voices and faces and expressions I would never know except in dreams where they sometimes haunted me. Yet, these two unknown beings were in my blood and bones, my form and nature came from them. It was strange to imagine this and in that moment I felt a vast sense of loneliness. I would never know where I sprang from, not ever know true parenting. An orphan from birth, an orphan for ever in life. I could do nothing else but support myself and do everything for myself. How could I really trust anyone else, however kind they seemed?

Sheets and blankets were provided and they seemed clean enough but I had a good look over the bed before re-making it, scared by tales of bed bugs and the like. Nothing strange seemed to be lurking in there despite my repeated banging and thumping so hopefully all was clear. Everything appeared reasonable and I began to feel a little happier.

There was no time now to make it to the corner shop. That would have to wait for tomorrow when I would buy some food. I’d have to make do with the bread and butter, corned beef and biscuits for today.

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