Buku The Girl at the Door by Veronica Raimo

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The Girl at the Door by Veronica Raimo

Author:Veronica Raimo

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

Published: 2019-04-17T16:26:09+00:00

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The Girl at the Door by Veronica Raimo

Him

The tutor suffered like a dog in writing his responses to the questionnaire. I felt bad for him. I imagined him racking his brain, searching for the words that would offend neither me nor the Commission. And then other words – words of impotence – to give substance to his moral dilemma. I believe that was his real torment. He had nothing exceptional with which to torment himself, but I let him anguish, because it was clear that he got an almost sexual pleasure out of it. (I had no idea what else could give him the same type of thrill. I’d never seen him excited, apart from when he was anguishing.) He didn’t look for signs of remorse in me. Not right away, at least. Instead he sought an entry into what must have seemed to him an impossible abyss. It wasn’t my intention to prevent him from gaining access, but it’s hard to open wide the door to an abyss if we don’t feel it. He wanted me to show him the stigmata of my corruption so he could stick his finger inside, horrified, and feel the thrill. But I continued to talk to him stubbornly of love. He shook his head. He couldn’t stand it and plunged back into his anguish. So eventually I let him in. Gave him whatever he wanted. A violent relationship? Unspeakable violence! Abuse, degradation, shame. Here, take all the horror you can handle. He needed his dilemma: to be the friend of a despicable man. I did it for him. I was his abject friend. And yet, I kept talking about love. And that was when he shuffled the cards on the table and started haranguing me about remorse. But c’mon, that’s unfair. That wasn’t the deal. I couldn’t be the one who drew the character arc of his conscience. He introduced himself as an innocent young man, then an accomplice, then a redeemer. ‘I’m confused,’ he said to me. Never get involved in others’ confusion. Especially if you have no desire to take them to bed.

 

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The Girl at the Door by Veronica Raimo

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The Girl at the Door by Veronica Raimo

Author:Veronica Raimo , Date: June 21, 2019

,Views: 51

Author:Veronica Raimo

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

Published: 2019-04-17T16:26:09+00:00
Him

The tutor suffered like a dog in writing his responses to the questionnaire. I felt bad for him. I imagined him racking his brain, searching for the words that would offend neither me nor the Commission. And then other words – words of impotence – to give substance to his moral dilemma. I believe that was his real torment. He had nothing exceptional with which to torment himself, but I let him anguish, because it was clear that he got an almost sexual pleasure out of it. (I had no idea what else could give him the same type of thrill. I’d never seen him excited, apart from when he was anguishing.) He didn’t look for signs of remorse in me. Not right away, at least. Instead he sought an entry into what must have seemed to him an impossible abyss. It wasn’t my intention to prevent him from gaining access, but it’s hard to open wide the door to an abyss if we don’t feel it. He wanted me to show him the stigmata of my corruption so he could stick his finger inside, horrified, and feel the thrill. But I continued to talk to him stubbornly of love. He shook his head. He couldn’t stand it and plunged back into his anguish. So eventually I let him in. Gave him whatever he wanted. A violent relationship? Unspeakable violence! Abuse, degradation, shame. Here, take all the horror you can handle. He needed his dilemma: to be the friend of a despicable man. I did it for him. I was his abject friend. And yet, I kept talking about love. And that was when he shuffled the cards on the table and started haranguing me about remorse. But c’mon, that’s unfair. That wasn’t the deal. I couldn’t be the one who drew the character arc of his conscience. He introduced himself as an innocent young man, then an accomplice, then a redeemer. ‘I’m confused,’ he said to me. Never get involved in others’ confusion. Especially if you have no desire to take them to bed.

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