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Buku Warriors by Sarah Noffke

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Warriors by Sarah Noffke

Author:Sarah Noffke [Noffke, Sarah]

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: One-Twenty-Six Press

Published: 2015-10-15T05:00:00+00:00

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Warriors by Sarah Noffke

Chapter Twenty-Two

I’ve always been able to think best in the shower. The steam and hot water somehow boil the right thoughts to the surface. I’m careful to keep the water off my back and head, while washing the smoke off me.

It’s strange to think Zack has secretly loved me. Maybe there were times I sensed his affection but I always thought he was having a fleeting emotion, like when he almost kissed me the other night. And honestly I’ve punished myself for ever hoping he’d think of me as more than a friend. I’ve been the rebel. The tomboy. The one he always rolled his eyes at for making uncouth remarks. And yet I’ve loved Zack for so long. It’s why I constantly banged on his door and dragged him to Rogue’s, using him for why we should hang out. I knew he couldn’t refuse an invite from the President’s son.

 

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Warriors by Sarah Noffke

Author:Sarah Noffke [Noffke, Sarah] , Date: June 12, 2019

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Author:Sarah Noffke [Noffke, Sarah]

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: One-Twenty-Six Press

Published: 2015-10-15T05:00:00+00:00
Chapter Twenty-Two

I’ve always been able to think best in the shower. The steam and hot water somehow boil the right thoughts to the surface. I’m careful to keep the water off my back and head, while washing the smoke off me.

It’s strange to think Zack has secretly loved me. Maybe there were times I sensed his affection but I always thought he was having a fleeting emotion, like when he almost kissed me the other night. And honestly I’ve punished myself for ever hoping he’d think of me as more than a friend. I’ve been the rebel. The tomboy. The one he always rolled his eyes at for making uncouth remarks. And yet I’ve loved Zack for so long. It’s why I constantly banged on his door and dragged him to Rogue’s, using him for why we should hang out. I knew he couldn’t refuse an invite from the President’s son.

And Rogue. Now thinking about him feels strange. He knew Zack’s feelings. Saw a future with us together. Rogue pushed Zack to act on his true feelings when he was dying. If possible I love Rogue more for this because he selflessly wanted what was best for us. How had Rogue allowed the idea of a future where Zack and I were together not infuriate him with jealousy? Was it because he knew he was going to die? And then the thought has occurred to me that Rogue was trying to give me permission to move on by orchestrating this all, by telling Zack to take a chance. To be honest, I need that permission from Rogue because without it I’ve punished myself for considering the idea of moving on.

All I know for certain in this moment is how I feel about Zack. I love him. For so long I’ve felt a pure affection for him, one that never ebbed or flowed. It isn’t like it was with Rogue, where I never considered loving him and then found myself pulled in by his charisma. The way I feel about Zack has always been steady and fueled by my own draw to him, not his attempts to win my attention.

I dress in my yoga pants and cashmere sweater. And although I slept most of the day, my body begs to be laid out in my bed without an agenda for my mind. But that’s not happening since I already have dream travel plans for later. Right now, though, I have some unfinished business to attend to.

The hallway between Zack’s room and mine is dark. A sliver of light from the crack in his door sprays through the hall. Through it I spy him moving around in his room. The part of me that rebels against all the etiquette force-fed to me my entire life wants to charge into his room. I want to yell at him, to lay down a hundred truths. But as much as I don’t want to be, I’m a product of my upbringing.

I tiptoe to his room and watch him through the small crack along the door.

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