Buku We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib

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We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib

Author:Samra Habib

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: Penguin Canada

Published: 2019-06-03T16:00:00+00:00

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We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib

* * *

That winter, in our third month of pretend marriage, I asked Peter if he would actually marry me. We’d jokingly talked about taking that final leap toward putting my parents’ mind at ease, but along the way the boundary between charade and reality became blurred. Peter, a little startled, said yes. Suddenly I was engaged for a second time, and I wasn’t even twenty.

 

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We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib

Author:Samra Habib , Date: June 12, 2019

,Views: 105

Author:Samra Habib

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: Penguin Canada

Published: 2019-06-03T16:00:00+00:00
* * *

That winter, in our third month of pretend marriage, I asked Peter if he would actually marry me. We’d jokingly talked about taking that final leap toward putting my parents’ mind at ease, but along the way the boundary between charade and reality became blurred. Peter, a little startled, said yes. Suddenly I was engaged for a second time, and I wasn’t even twenty.

We didn’t waste any time making the arrangements—once again, the wedding would be quick and unceremonious. On our way to city hall, we stopped to buy our wedding bands at a jewellery store run by a Persian couple. I picked a white gold ring that choked my bony finger. (The woman behind the counter told Peter to make sure it was too tight to ever come off, as though I weren’t standing right there.) Instead of asking for a different size, I just smiled and handed over my credit card.

I wore a pink blouse and the black pencil skirt I’d worn for my interview at the Body Shop, with a magenta hair extension I’d bought at the mall for a final flourish. Peter wore a blue dress shirt tucked into black slacks—he looked like a kid masquerading as a grown-up. Peter’s friend Mike and Mike’s girlfriend, Mae, acted as our witnesses. We celebrated by going to a steakhouse close to city hall.

All through dinner, a spectre was looming: even though we’d been living together for more than six months, Peter and I still hadn’t had sex. I’d overheard my female co-workers talk about giving their boyfriends blow jobs in parked cars, but I had no desire to do anything like that with Peter. I wondered if there was something wrong with me. Now that we were married, there was an expectation, and I no longer had the convenience of Muslim guilt to protect me from the last thing I wanted to do: have sex with my husband.

Afterwards we went to a dive bar where Peter was a regular. I unclipped my hair extension and put it in my backpack and searched for quarters to play “No Scrubs” on the jukebox. I asked the Vietnamese owner which cocktails she recommended, because I’d only recently turned nineteen and had never ordered a drink before. She eased me in with fruity concoctions: Sex on the Beach and piña coladas. Whenever Peter ran into the people he saw every night after his shifts, he introduced me as his wife. I was as shocked by the sound of it as they were.

We were tipsy by the time we got home. Anxious to get it over with, I removed the white garter belt and bustier I’d bought after Peter mentioned he was into lingerie. I tensed up as he entered me, sending a jolt of pain through my body. I asked him to stop. He got off me and we lay on our backs, staring up at the ceiling. I was puzzled. Wasn’t sex supposed to be pleasurable and exciting? Even

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Buku We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib

Rp149,000.00

Rp149,000.00

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