Buku When the War Never Ends by Leah Wizelman
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When the War Never Ends by Leah Wizelman

Author:Leah Wizelman [Wizelman, Leah]

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers

Published: 2011-06-24T16:00:00+00:00

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When the War Never Ends by Leah Wizelman

Behind Locked Doors and with a Barbed Wire over the Fence

Private R. was a rifleman in the infantry of the Australian army and served from 1967 to 1969 in the National Service.

 

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When the War Never Ends by Leah Wizelman

Author:Leah Wizelman [Wizelman, Leah] , Date: June 25, 2019

,Views: 37

Author:Leah Wizelman [Wizelman, Leah]

Language: eng

Format: epub

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers

Published: 2011-06-24T16:00:00+00:00
Behind Locked Doors and with a Barbed Wire over the Fence

Private R. was a rifleman in the infantry of the Australian army and served from 1967 to 1969 in the National Service.

I was twenty when I went into the army as a conscript and twenty-two when I first experienced actual combat. That was almost thirty-eight years ago. More than one event caused my PTSD, but being fired upon and firing at the enemy while on patrol in South Vietnam was the main reason.

One incident happened when I was on sentry duty in the jungle: it was very hot and humid, and I had been stung badly by wasps the day before and was still feeling the effects of the poison in my guts. I was lying flat on my belly, underneath a leafy bush of some sort. I had been watching the track for an hour or so, and then, quite suddenly it seemed, a North Vietnamese soldier appeared, probably about ten or fifteen meters away. I remember shaking my head and thinking I might be seeing things but quickly realized that he was there, that he had stopped, and that he appeared to be listening and looking in the direction of where the rest of my group was. (They were about twenty-five meters behind me.) I aimed my M16 and fired a burst; almost instantly the NVA soldier fired back, his rounds disintegrating the leaves immediately above my head. I struggled to change magazines, thinking the NVA soldier was coming for me. I felt extreme fear, that I would die, that I was on my own—which I was while on sentry during the day.

On the same day, as with other contacts and incidents that occurred during my time as a rifleman in South Vietnam, I led our section—five including me—out to search for the NVA and whoever else might be around. During that time, as well as after other things that happened, which I won’t talk about, I remember being unable to stop shaking, being super alert, expecting to die, feeling occasional nausea (but heat probably contributed there), being possibly in shock, but still doing my job.

I got physically ill ten years ago, and being so ill, I degenerated mentally. Until then I had tried not to think about my experiences by working long hours and involving myself in many sports and activities. Apart from the pain of memories about South Vietnam, we also had to deal with abuse and rejection from the community when we came back from the war due to it’s unpopularity and the fact that it was clear that we—the U.S. and its allies—were not winning. I think the symptoms were always there but pushed into the background by constantly doing things so as not to think.

After my recovery from the 1997 illness, I realized I needed to do something, and a friend referred me to the Vietnam Veterans Federation. I was diagnosed with PTSD about thirty years after the traumatic events. I have also been diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

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